My summer off has been the lamest summer I've had in a long time.
As I write this, John is back in Fargo. His gramma passed away on Monday, so he flew back for the funeral. Despite the tragic circumstances of his visit, I am so insanely jealous. I miss my family like nobody's business. It's strange. However, I probably miss them even more because I'm stressed. My mom told me my dad started smoking again, which freaks me the fuck out. I don't even know what to do with that information, but it scares me a lot. Like, he's already 61. He's been smoking for as long as I can remember, and I was so proud of him when I found out he quit chewing (he started to quit smoking). I hate being in Washington and so far, because what if something does happen? I mean, it's not like I can do anything anyways, but if his health were to deteriorate, I'd be closer so I could at least see him.
On top of that, I had a scary health thing happen. I went to get a pap smear, and I had abnormal results (something called LSIL). Of course, when you don't know much about that and the woman telling you your results says "HPV," your irrational mind immediately jumps to cancer. So then I had to get a colposcopy to have my cervix biopsied to find out if I should be worried and if my cells were doing anything terrible. While getting my colposcopy, I had to have my IUD removed since it was apparently coming out which then meant I had to take ella, which is an emergency contraceptive. The colposcopy wasn't so bad, just a little uncomfortable, but once I went to check out, I found out that the insurance I thought would cover the procedure actually wouldn't. So the woman at the counter told me I owed $421 for the colposcopy, but the IUD removal and ella would be covered. Ugh. So stressful. And now I have to get an IUD put in again, but I have to wait because Mother Nature just likes to impose herself on me at the worst times.
However, that's all mostly fine now. It turns out I only owe $351 and I can pay in monthly installments. AND my doctor called and told me that the changes in my cells are minor, so I just have to go back in for a HPV test next June. But by then, she said, it should clear itself up. Still a little stressful but not as much.
In another random tangent, I also think I am self-destructive. For example, well. There's many examples. Most of which I can't provide to you because then I'd really self-destruct. However, there is one I can give you since John knows about it. So he's gone to visit his family, right? Well, the idea of sleeping alone didn't appeal to me so I had my friend D'Andre come over to stay. I thought it'd make me sleep better and we were only going to sleep in the same bed, so I thought no harm, no foul. Anyway, it didn't help and after he got here, I wanted to ask him to leave but then I would've felt bad so I didn't. And really, I didn't need to tell John. I don't even know why I did. I'm just dumb.
One more random tangent, and hopefully John doesn't mind me sharing this. And if so, well. Maybe he shouldn't be with me. Haha. Anyway. We had our first threesome! It wasn't as amazing as I'd hoped for, but that's not due to any fault of mine or John's. The girl just. Yeah. Wasn't. ANYWAY! It was great and I can't wait to do it again.
And one more thing, two of my friends from college moved to Seattle! Whoot whoot! I'm so happy they're here. Even though we haven't talked much since I moved here because I fail at life, they're probably two people I consider in my circle of best friends. For reals. They're amazing people. And I'm excited they're here for at least the next year!
Anyway, this post is longer and more random than I planned. Sorry for that, but there's my brain on a webscreen. :)
P.S. I totally didn't even include all my brain vomit about Molly. That's just too much for this blog post. Maybe sometime I'll share all that noise. Maybe.
