Liiiiiiiife.

Alright. So if I had written this earlier today, it would be a completely different update. However, I didn't. So this is what you get.

I haven't updated since I started at my site [if my memory is right]. A lot has happened, but at the same time, not much has changed. I still love my job. Working with kiddos is amazing. I really enjoy going to work each day. And I changed my schedule, so I'm working with even more kids [something like 80 now]. I get to interact with many more than that, but I'm documenting 80. And I'm working with three kindergarten classes now. I love love love kindergarteners. So cute.

As for my personal life, shit's crazy. John moved here on Nov. 6. I should give you the entire low down about us as of late. In order to do that, we gotta travel back in time. So while John was in Australia, after I came back from visiting, we decided to have an open relationship. Srsly bad idea. [In hindsight, I'd say we basically broke up. At least, that's how I feel about it. Clearly, neither one of us gave a shit about the other's feelings, so that's pretty much being broken up, right?] Anyway, this decision was made and it was shit from the start. I started playing around with the idea of hooking up with other people pretty much right when I got to Washington. I'll admit, I was being really selfish. So some stuff happened.

Jump to my birthday, and John gave me permission to hook up with this couple. So I did, but I broke some ground rules John had set. As a result, John wanted to end our open relationship, be exclusive, but still have the chance to fuck other women to punish me and feel like it was fair [or some bullshit. I don't even know.]. Oh, also, before the couple thing happened, John had made out with this woman Carolina. And I wasn't comfortable with their friendship because it was clear that she liked him, but he kept seeing her anyways, although he kept telling me nothing was going on besides that they had made out a few more times, once after the couple incident [and he said he felt guilty].

Fast forward to shortly before he is to move here. He hid from me that he was still talking to women online. One of these women is Skye. He became FB friends with her, so I just asked who she was, and it came out that he had been talking to her. That's it.

However, that wasn't it. Because he told me later that they had hung out and whatever. He told me this while still in Australia, and since John had never lied to me before, I assumed he was being honest.

Big mistake. So he moves here, and despite what he told me, I still wasn't feeling that he was being totally honest. I don't know. He lied to me once about Skye, why wouldn't he lie to me again? So one morning, I had this terrible idea to creep on his iPod, since I knew he was logged onto FB. And that's when I found out that Skye had given him head. I confronted him about it, and he told me that that was all it was. And even though I still was skeptical, I believed him. Because why would he continue to lie when he was so clearly caught?

Well, apparently, that seemed like a good idea, because he did lie to me. Turns out, he fucked Skye and Carolina, and he wouldn't have told me if I hadn't been a psycho and creeped on his email and FB. To be honest, I didn't really care that he did that. I mean, whatever. But I was upset because he kept talking to Skye once he got here. Like, telling her how hot she was and that he'd date her and accepting pictures from her. All sorts of bullshit. That hurt a lot. I mean, like. Why does he need to be talking to another girl when he is living with me? Am I not enough? I was srsly hurt.

To be fair, I wasn't completely honest with him either. The dude from that couple, Tony, and I hooked up once and I didn't tell John. I told him everything that happened with Tony, and I thought that that was that, and we were gonna start being completely honest with one another. But then today, I asked him if he had been talking to Skye [which I wouldn't like, but I wouldn't keep him from doing]. He told me no and got all defensive. So being the crazy person that I am, I snooped again on his FB. And he had been talking to her. Or has been. Whatever. And instead of just being honest when I asked him about it again, he acted all stupid. Bah.

So now he's sleeping on the couch. This trivial shit is trivial. I wanna punch him. And it sucks because I don't trust him, but we're supposed to be moving in to Jade's place soon. Fuck.

Anyway. That's that. I'm done for now. I don't wanna talk to him or deal with him. It all just makes me nauseous.

And I wouldn't have typed all this, but today's training was about emotional intelligence, and Miss Debbie McGee said journaling for five minutes would be good. So blogging is my form of that, and this is a no-holds-barred forum. So if you want sugarcoating, go somewhere else.

-Laura