Travelin'.

John and I are in the Midwest visiting family and friends. It's been pretty good. I totally surprised my parents when we showed up at the airport. I had told them it was just gonna be John, but then I came along too! It was great.

Rochester was a lotta fun. We mostly hung out with Tim, but John also got to meet the rest of my family. We celebrated Christmas, kinda, so he met all my nieces, too. They LOVED him! It was crazy, especially since he "hates" kids. I think he's full of shit, because he is awesome with them. He even bonded with Tim's ex-girlfriend's kid Brennan. He's amazing. :)

We just got to Moorhead, and it was a trip. The muffler on our car, like, fell off just outside Minneapolis, so we had to find a Walmart and do a quick fix. It sucked. So we got to Moorhead about an hour or so later than planned. So we just hung out with his brothers and friends. Not too exciting for me, since I always feel awkward around John's brothers/friends, but it's cool. I'm waking up early in the morning to have coffee with my ex-adviser, and the day is filled with friends. I'm pretty excited.

We're going to Bottineau on Friday to visit John's parents. I'm super excited about that. I love love love his parents. He doesn't appreciate them so he doesn't like them much, but he's just dumb. They're so great. Apparently they got me a gift card to Pangea for Christmas. John and I got his mom these cool elephant statues and I'm getting his dad some cool glasses and possibly an awkward shirt [if I can find it]. I'm srsly looking forward to seeing them. You have no idea.

After that, we're driving back to Federal Way. It's gonna be a long long drive. BUT! I get to see the one and only Sara Boom. So excited for that.

Random tangent. This girl I've had a crush on for forever started texting me the other day. Even though we're both in situations that would prevent anything from happening, I'm still really happy she started texting me. I get to see her while I'm visiting, and it's gonna be epic.

Anyway, that's all. I'm glad I'm visiting Moorhead because, as much as I hate Minnesota, I love the people in it.

-Laura

Americorps Training: Day 1 [plus two weeks of Tacoma, compact style!]

So today was the first day of Americorps training. Before I jump into that, I feel like I should describe the last two weeks so I can accurately describe my feelings going into training today. So with that...

Well, in case you missed the memo, I went to Australia just a minute ago. And I had the bright idea to fly back from Australia on a Sunday and leave for Tacoma on a Tuesday, arriving here that Thursday [two weeks ago]. Not my smartest plan, but let's be real: Australia was probably on the lower side of the list of genius things I've done in my short life. Anyway! I arrived here two weeks ago, and since then, I've been struggling with trying to get on a "normal" sleep schedule [at least normal for me]. As it stands, I've been going to sleep anywhere between two and eight in the morning and sleeping until eleven or one each day. Since training started today and goes from eight to fiveish, I'm trying to tweak that, without much success so far. I went to sleep last night [technically this morning] around 1:30 and fell asleep around 2:30, only to get up at 6:50. And that only added to the anxiety I had going into training. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, I arrived on Thursday morning and pretty much slept all day. Then on Friday, my awesome roommate Taylor took me to experience Seattle's very own Hempfest. I gotta say, that was probably the best introduction I could've had. It was awesome. I got to see a variety of people and see a chunk of Seattle. It was good. That weekend was pretty quiet, I don't even remember what I did. Probs nothing. WAIT! I got lost. On Sunday, I believe. In a park about 15 minutes from my house. I went to check out the beach, walked on a random path and got spit out into a residential neighborhood [that turned out to be private, so I was technically trespassing]. It was awesome. I saw a goat farm, too!

Then on Monday, I had plans to go to the Atmosphere show in Seattle. Well, originally, Taylor was going to go with me, but then she had to work, so I was going to go alone. Instead, I creeped on Craigslist and found another lonesome hip hop fan who was going and asked if he wanted company. He said yes, so I had a buddy! Then Monday came, and Taylor and I went to the Americorps office to pick up paperwork to get food assistance. I went into the office wearing a tank top, sporting my 8g septum ring, showing all my tattoos. Typical Laura, right? I didn't think anything of it. So Taylor and I got our paperwork and went to the DSHS in Tacoma. Well, we sat around waiting for our names to be called, and while waiting, my boss lady called. I didn't answer since I didn't recognize the number, but I listened to the voicemail and decided I'd call after we were done at DSHS. Well, my boss lady then called Taylor's phone to get the message to me that she absolutely HAD to meet me that day. I was a little freaked out, but naturally assumed it was because of my appearance. Anyway, we stayed at DSHS to get our food stamps, but we got hungry so we left to get lunch. While gone, they called our names [of course]. So we ended up not getting food stamps that day and had to come back the following Wednesday. And by this point, I had decided not to go to Atmosphere since I wouldn't be able to catch the bus and make it to Seattle before the show started. However, my buddy said he'd drive to Tacoma from Seattle to pick me up, so I was stoked!

So we left DSHS and went to the office so I could meet Monda. I was super nervous since I had never met Monda in person. Well, I had reason to be nervous. She wanted to meet me because two of the office ladies had been dismayed [to say the least] about my appearance when I came to the office. They had found it disrespectful and were surprised I'd come to the office like that. So I got a nice lecture about professionalism and all this other stuff. I was none too pleased, but I understood where they were coming from [to a point]. Anyway, that kinda put a damper on my mood. But I was going to see Atmosphere [and PROF!] so I was staying positive. The show was amazing. Will [my buddy] and I got to meet Evidence and Slug before the show, and we got to meet Prof, Evidence and Blueprint after. It was sooo amazing meeting Prof. Srsly. I'm in love with him. I'd let him have my babies any day. Then a bunch of awkwardness ensued after that. I have a problem with meeting new people off the interwebz. So I had planned to meet this guy after the show on Capitol Hill, and that turned out to be a terrible idea and it was supes awkward. He kept trying to, like, feel me up kinda so eventually, I had to send out an SOS to another guy I had been talking to [Jonathan] and he came to rescue me. Thankfully. It was super weird and a crazy night.

On Wednesday, Taylor and I went back to DSHS and I got food stamps so we went grocery shopping at Trader Joe's, which was awesome since I had pretty much been living on generic Captain Crunch. Jonathan and I also went to this vegan restaurant that was okay. He came over Friday and made dinner too. It was delicious. From then until today, I haven't been doing much. I met another random dude off the internet that also turned out to be crazy awkward and did some messed up stuff that caused drama with John and I and that's about it. And I've been stressing a little about this program. Since my meeting with Monda, I had been thinking, like, what if this was a huge mistake? What if this program is totally wrong for me and I hate it and I'm miserable? I was super anxious about going to training, even though I had previously been super excited about it. It was kinda dreadful.

Then I went into training today. And it was AMAZING! Everyone was super warm and friendly and awesome. It was a little overwhelming, but I think that's always to be expected on the first day of anything new. It was really great though. I made a new friend right away, Charlene, who is a returner and I expect to be good friends with her throughout my time. And Monda told me I could wear 3/4-sleeved shirts for the rest of training [today was business casual, which is the required attire for service in the schools], so that was awesome. I have a really good feeling about this now.

In other news, I'm kinda super worried about my relationship with John. LDR never work out well for me [or at least the one time I was in one, I fucked up royally], so I'm scared. Plus, we keep bouncing back and forth on this open relationship issue, so it's causing a lotta anxiety and tension. It sucks a lot. I'm not sure what to do about it. However, assuming we stay together until June, we're planning to go on a road trip in July once I'm done serving with Harry [Australian friend!]. Let's hope that happens.

Other little details I forgot: Taylor has the most amazing family ever. We went to her house Tuesday for a quick minute and they were awesome. Her mom was trying to feed me even though she didn't quite understand my veganism and her dad acted like we knew each other. Taylor and her mom even gave me clothes they didn't want, which is awesome. Raynai and Tim [my other roommates] are sweet too! I feel like all of us are super different, but I think somehow we're gonna work well together. My house is super cool, too. It's kinda in the boonies, but it's a really nice house with a really nice view [creep my FB pictures]. And I'm hoping to be placed at an elementary school nearby, so I'd only have to walk 2.5 miles each way. Oh, and I'm trying to lose some weight. Becoming vegan helped me trim some excess fat, but I'm trying to get even slimmer. We'll see how that goes. John has given me a workout schedule but I don't know if it's a feasible one. I finally unpacked on Tuesday, too. I ordered some shelves and a wall decal, but it's pretty sweet. I'll have to take pictures once it's completely finished. And I'm hoping to blog, like, daily or at least weekly with updates about training and life in general. Maybe if I do it more regularly, I won't write little novellas every time I blog. Maybe.

Fam bam.

I have mixed feelings about my family. I love all of them, and for the most part, I like all of them, too.

I've been really excited for the last, like, two weeks about going home and seeing everyone since I haven't been home since mid-August. And I really enjoy spending time with my family.

Most of the time.

But then, something happened yesterday that changed that. Unfortunately.

Some days, I hate Facebook and the ability it provides for people to abruptly leave when you are talking with them.

For example, my brother FB'd me yesterday to see how my day was going. A nice gesture. Things switched to how his day was going, and he explained to me that his wife was in the ER for dehydration and that something was wrong with his phone and that one of their two vans was out of commission.

Wait. Let me back up a little. This may be too much information for some of you, but I don't mind sharing. My brother has two kids already and his new wife has two as well, bringing the grand total to four. They both agreed that they didn't want any more children since they could hardly support the kids they have and it wouldn't be fair to anyone involved. As a result, my bro took the initiative to get a vasectomy. Go him. However, something went wrong and somehow April (his wife) got pregnant. No one in my family thinks it's a good idea for her to carry to term.

So when I heard that she was in the hospital for dehydration, I cautiously asked if she was still pregnant. My bro replied that she was, as far as they knew, unless she was miscarrying. Being the person that I am, I then asked if they were going to carry to term, assuming April wasn't miscarrying.

This is where trouble begins.

He replied that he couldn't think of any other option. My response? "I can think of one."

Trouble.

I gave him what I think is a valid explanation for why they should. But he obviously didn't want to discuss it because he signed off Facebook instead.

I mean, I get it. If I weren't me, I'd probably get upset if someone suggested that to me. But I don't think my bro handled it right. I sent him a text shortly after to make sure he wasn't upset, but he didn't answer. I sent him a FB message, too. And still nothing.

But he has mentioned it to my ma. Which, whatever. I almost expect it. My bro (along with the rest of my family sans DeeAnn who is my sister-in-law) is non-confrontational. So I don't honestly expect him to come to me with problems he has with me, but still. I wish he would.

And this also bothers me in another way. Instead of supporting me and what I told my brother, my ma just ignored his comment. I mean, come on. Why doesn't my brother learn? Because I'm the only one actively attempting to change his way of thinking and behaving.

I just wish I had someone in my family who would back me. Or who would encourage my brother to come to me instead of ranting to everyone.

I guess I'm being slightly hypocritical posting this, but I've tried to contact him with no results. I'm tempted to call him tomorrow to see if we can't talk this out, but I have a feeling he'd ignore me.

Bah.

Family. Gotta love 'em, right?