Gay marriage: equal rights or assimilation?

I've been reading this book about queer strategies for resisting assimilation. And it's got me rethinking my stance on gay marriage.

I've always been pro-gay marriage. I mean, equal rights for all people, right? But really, is it equal rights when you break it down?

Let's think about it. Proponents for gay marriage want gay people to have the same rights provided through straight marriage, meaning shared healthcare benefits, relationship recognition by the state, etc. They believe that by achieving the right to marry their same-sex partner (or for others to marry this way), this will level the playing field for equality between straights and gays.

But is that really equality? It seems to me that by fighting for what straight people have and only what straight people have without adjusting it to fit the culture and lifestyle of the glbt community, we're only serving to do away with the things that make that community what it is. We shouldn't be fighting to be a part of the mainstream white, heterosexual norm. We should be rebelling against that while fighting for these attainable rights (universal healthcare, state-recognized relationship status, etc.) for everyone equally, married or not, gay or straight, black or white.

The fight for equal rights amongst queers has annihilated what the glbt fight originally stood for. Instead, gays and lesbians have become content assimilating to what America's heteronormative society deems as appropriate and mainstream. It also reduces the battle to only those with the means and privilege to gain access to these struggles, which typically means white, middle-class gays (and sometimes lesbians). This eliminates non-white, lower-class gays and lesbians, along with transgendered men and women.

I have more to say, but in my tired state-of-mind, I can't formulate my ideas coherently. If you're interested in reading more about this, you should check out the book That's Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore. It also discusses many other issues relevant to the queer community.

Sorry for the huge gap in blog posts, by the way. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things here and update more frequently. Next, I plan to discuss whether sexual orientation is a choice. This book, it's really got me thinking.