An update of sorts.

So I somehow don't have time to update this blog, although it's not as though my life is that busy. Finals are coming, but compared to pretty much the entire campus, I have it easy. One paper, one take-home final and a test. Easy, right? But somehow I still don't have time to take twenty minutes to type in something here. I'm ridiculous.

Anyways. Life is relatively good. I'm content.

However, the semester is winding down, and with that comes graduation. I'm really not happy for that. For several reasons.

First, Jordan is leaving me at the end of the semester for Spain. He is one of my absolute best friends. I already see him way less often than I should, and once the semester ends, I probably won't see him again before I graduate and move home/away. I know there's always Skype, but it's not the same. I hate it. I hate that I'm losing one of my best friends. He is one of two people at school that I consider my soulmate, for a lack of a better term. He is that person that I can tell anything to and I know he won't judge me. It absolutely kills me that he is leaving.

Second, Jess is leaving me, too. It's good for her, since she's graduating and starting her life in the real world as an adult at a real job. But it friggin' sucks for me. Jess is my other half. Regardless of everything we've been through this past year or so, she is more than my soulmate. She is my complete, no-holds-barred best friend and I'd do anything for her. After the bullshit I put her through last year while I was trying to figure myself out, she still took me back. She is the strongest person I know, and I wish I could be half as good a person as she is.

On a random, somewhat related tangent, this last year has been the biggest growing experience for me. I lost what I thought was my "One," I lost my best friend, I lost myself, but through all of that, I found out who I am and who I want to be, I regained my best friend, and I've come out the other side alive and more comfortable with myself than I've ever been. Even though it's been rough, I'm grateful for all of my experiences, even though many of them were at the expense of others.

Anyways, this is getting to be too... rambling. I don't want this semester to end because I don't want to lose my two best friends. I'm excited for next semester and to be finished with life as a college kid, but I don't want that at the cost of not being able to see Jess in the Atrium and walk her to class even though it's totally out of my way or to spend hours at Perkins with Jordan where he sprays himself with half and half.

I can't do it.

I don't want to do it.