Travelin'.

John and I are in the Midwest visiting family and friends. It's been pretty good. I totally surprised my parents when we showed up at the airport. I had told them it was just gonna be John, but then I came along too! It was great.

Rochester was a lotta fun. We mostly hung out with Tim, but John also got to meet the rest of my family. We celebrated Christmas, kinda, so he met all my nieces, too. They LOVED him! It was crazy, especially since he "hates" kids. I think he's full of shit, because he is awesome with them. He even bonded with Tim's ex-girlfriend's kid Brennan. He's amazing. :)

We just got to Moorhead, and it was a trip. The muffler on our car, like, fell off just outside Minneapolis, so we had to find a Walmart and do a quick fix. It sucked. So we got to Moorhead about an hour or so later than planned. So we just hung out with his brothers and friends. Not too exciting for me, since I always feel awkward around John's brothers/friends, but it's cool. I'm waking up early in the morning to have coffee with my ex-adviser, and the day is filled with friends. I'm pretty excited.

We're going to Bottineau on Friday to visit John's parents. I'm super excited about that. I love love love his parents. He doesn't appreciate them so he doesn't like them much, but he's just dumb. They're so great. Apparently they got me a gift card to Pangea for Christmas. John and I got his mom these cool elephant statues and I'm getting his dad some cool glasses and possibly an awkward shirt [if I can find it]. I'm srsly looking forward to seeing them. You have no idea.

After that, we're driving back to Federal Way. It's gonna be a long long drive. BUT! I get to see the one and only Sara Boom. So excited for that.

Random tangent. This girl I've had a crush on for forever started texting me the other day. Even though we're both in situations that would prevent anything from happening, I'm still really happy she started texting me. I get to see her while I'm visiting, and it's gonna be epic.

Anyway, that's all. I'm glad I'm visiting Moorhead because, as much as I hate Minnesota, I love the people in it.

-Laura

Lord, I was born a ramblin' [wo]man.

I'm at school right now. I always get here, like, 45 minutes before I need to be since Taylor is so kind as to drop me off on her way to school. It's kinda boring. I should've planned more to get things done in the morning. Oh well. Tomorrow is the last day I'll be here this early. I hope.

Anyway. Only today and tomorrow left for school. I told my Homework Club [after school program] kiddos that tomorrow might be filled with fun activities and candy if they're good. Yesterday was terrible, so it might just be a day with a special treat at the end. Some of these kids come in here with no homework and just wanna hang out. So frustrating. Maybe if they did so quietly, but they don't. And I don't get paid to babysit, so no thanks.

John and I went out to dinner last night. I was frustrated when I first saw him, because he told me about his day and he got nothing done, really. I had asked him to do a few things, and he completely forgot. It's not that big a deal, but it frustrates me since I'm at work all day and he's just chilling at home. Like, srsly. And it ended with me being frustrated, too. He brought up Tony, which wasn't the problem, but it just steamrolled into other trivial shit that we started bickering about. So instead of having some wine and whatnot when we got home, we pretty much just went to bed. Hopefully today will go better.

I'm planning on writing thank you notes to all the teachers I work with here and including candy canes. John and I went a little candy cane happy last night at Target. So we have boxes for ourselves, plus boxes for school, but there will most definitely be leftovers. So. Many. Candy. Canes.

I was excited to hang out with my friend Jonathan on Wednesday, but he has to work or something now. Things have been really awkward between us. Probably because of John but I think something else must be bothering him. I can only guess as to what that is. But I do have a pretty good guess.

I had a strange dream last night that I was at home, trying to bike to someone's house. I can't remember whose. It might've been Sophal. It was odd, and filled with people from middle school [like Sophal] and high school [like Jordan] and AmeriCorps [like Jade and Molina]. I'm not even sure what the purpose of the dream was, but I do remember there being butter pecan soy dream involved somehow.

I'm going to bake cookies today. Baking cookies, writing thank you notes and probably drinking wine. I feel like I should be an old lady with lots of cats, not a 23-year-old living with her boyfriend. Oh well. Life is relatively good. So I'll take it.

-Laura

Hooked into a machine.

So I already failed at blogging for five minutes each day. To be fair, I feel awkward blogging with John laying right next to me, since inevitably, most of what I write about is gonna be about him. Whatever.

Apparently posting the last post wasn't such a good idea. Or perhaps putting it on FB wasn't. Even my mama read it. Oops. Oh well. Honesty is the best policy [in most cases] so I make no apologies.

Last night, my bff was texting me about how great being single is. As much as I love John and love being with him, sometimes I srsly miss being single and having no one to answer to. Especially lately, since John and I can't seem to see eye-to-eye on anything. Mostly the whole Skye issue. I don't even know what to do about it anymore, so I think I'm just admitting defeat. I can't tell him what to do and I don't want to. So if he wants to keep talking to her, even if it is about strictly platonic things, I just need to get over it. I mean, it's irrational for me to be upset anyway. But I can't help but be irrational about it. It sucks.

What else. There are top secret plans in the works! I'm excited for them to unfold. But I'm also really stressed out about them. The next three weeks are gonna be intense. I've been suffering from, like, anxiety attacks lately. My chest just gets this super sharp pain in it. I'm hoping it'll go away soon. We'll see, I guess.

Tonight is another adventure in vegan Sunday night dinners. For those of you not in the know, a few of my AmeriCorps friends [Sky and Molly] and I began to have vegan dinners once a week. Since I'm vegan, the dinners are always vegan, and they've started to include more people. Obviously John, since he's living here, and on occasion, Tory, Freddy or Leeann. Tonight, Taylor is joining, and we'll see who else shows up. It's a Hanukkah-themed meal, since Sky is Jewish, and I'm really excited for it. John and I will hopefully be baking dreidl cookies, but if not, there will at least be cookies around.

I'll try to be less John-centric in future posts. But I make no promises.

-Laura

Liiiiiiiife.

Alright. So if I had written this earlier today, it would be a completely different update. However, I didn't. So this is what you get.

I haven't updated since I started at my site [if my memory is right]. A lot has happened, but at the same time, not much has changed. I still love my job. Working with kiddos is amazing. I really enjoy going to work each day. And I changed my schedule, so I'm working with even more kids [something like 80 now]. I get to interact with many more than that, but I'm documenting 80. And I'm working with three kindergarten classes now. I love love love kindergarteners. So cute.

As for my personal life, shit's crazy. John moved here on Nov. 6. I should give you the entire low down about us as of late. In order to do that, we gotta travel back in time. So while John was in Australia, after I came back from visiting, we decided to have an open relationship. Srsly bad idea. [In hindsight, I'd say we basically broke up. At least, that's how I feel about it. Clearly, neither one of us gave a shit about the other's feelings, so that's pretty much being broken up, right?] Anyway, this decision was made and it was shit from the start. I started playing around with the idea of hooking up with other people pretty much right when I got to Washington. I'll admit, I was being really selfish. So some stuff happened.

Jump to my birthday, and John gave me permission to hook up with this couple. So I did, but I broke some ground rules John had set. As a result, John wanted to end our open relationship, be exclusive, but still have the chance to fuck other women to punish me and feel like it was fair [or some bullshit. I don't even know.]. Oh, also, before the couple thing happened, John had made out with this woman Carolina. And I wasn't comfortable with their friendship because it was clear that she liked him, but he kept seeing her anyways, although he kept telling me nothing was going on besides that they had made out a few more times, once after the couple incident [and he said he felt guilty].

Fast forward to shortly before he is to move here. He hid from me that he was still talking to women online. One of these women is Skye. He became FB friends with her, so I just asked who she was, and it came out that he had been talking to her. That's it.

However, that wasn't it. Because he told me later that they had hung out and whatever. He told me this while still in Australia, and since John had never lied to me before, I assumed he was being honest.

Big mistake. So he moves here, and despite what he told me, I still wasn't feeling that he was being totally honest. I don't know. He lied to me once about Skye, why wouldn't he lie to me again? So one morning, I had this terrible idea to creep on his iPod, since I knew he was logged onto FB. And that's when I found out that Skye had given him head. I confronted him about it, and he told me that that was all it was. And even though I still was skeptical, I believed him. Because why would he continue to lie when he was so clearly caught?

Well, apparently, that seemed like a good idea, because he did lie to me. Turns out, he fucked Skye and Carolina, and he wouldn't have told me if I hadn't been a psycho and creeped on his email and FB. To be honest, I didn't really care that he did that. I mean, whatever. But I was upset because he kept talking to Skye once he got here. Like, telling her how hot she was and that he'd date her and accepting pictures from her. All sorts of bullshit. That hurt a lot. I mean, like. Why does he need to be talking to another girl when he is living with me? Am I not enough? I was srsly hurt.

To be fair, I wasn't completely honest with him either. The dude from that couple, Tony, and I hooked up once and I didn't tell John. I told him everything that happened with Tony, and I thought that that was that, and we were gonna start being completely honest with one another. But then today, I asked him if he had been talking to Skye [which I wouldn't like, but I wouldn't keep him from doing]. He told me no and got all defensive. So being the crazy person that I am, I snooped again on his FB. And he had been talking to her. Or has been. Whatever. And instead of just being honest when I asked him about it again, he acted all stupid. Bah.

So now he's sleeping on the couch. This trivial shit is trivial. I wanna punch him. And it sucks because I don't trust him, but we're supposed to be moving in to Jade's place soon. Fuck.

Anyway. That's that. I'm done for now. I don't wanna talk to him or deal with him. It all just makes me nauseous.

And I wouldn't have typed all this, but today's training was about emotional intelligence, and Miss Debbie McGee said journaling for five minutes would be good. So blogging is my form of that, and this is a no-holds-barred forum. So if you want sugarcoating, go somewhere else.

-Laura

Americorps Training: Day 1 [plus two weeks of Tacoma, compact style!]

So today was the first day of Americorps training. Before I jump into that, I feel like I should describe the last two weeks so I can accurately describe my feelings going into training today. So with that...

Well, in case you missed the memo, I went to Australia just a minute ago. And I had the bright idea to fly back from Australia on a Sunday and leave for Tacoma on a Tuesday, arriving here that Thursday [two weeks ago]. Not my smartest plan, but let's be real: Australia was probably on the lower side of the list of genius things I've done in my short life. Anyway! I arrived here two weeks ago, and since then, I've been struggling with trying to get on a "normal" sleep schedule [at least normal for me]. As it stands, I've been going to sleep anywhere between two and eight in the morning and sleeping until eleven or one each day. Since training started today and goes from eight to fiveish, I'm trying to tweak that, without much success so far. I went to sleep last night [technically this morning] around 1:30 and fell asleep around 2:30, only to get up at 6:50. And that only added to the anxiety I had going into training. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, I arrived on Thursday morning and pretty much slept all day. Then on Friday, my awesome roommate Taylor took me to experience Seattle's very own Hempfest. I gotta say, that was probably the best introduction I could've had. It was awesome. I got to see a variety of people and see a chunk of Seattle. It was good. That weekend was pretty quiet, I don't even remember what I did. Probs nothing. WAIT! I got lost. On Sunday, I believe. In a park about 15 minutes from my house. I went to check out the beach, walked on a random path and got spit out into a residential neighborhood [that turned out to be private, so I was technically trespassing]. It was awesome. I saw a goat farm, too!

Then on Monday, I had plans to go to the Atmosphere show in Seattle. Well, originally, Taylor was going to go with me, but then she had to work, so I was going to go alone. Instead, I creeped on Craigslist and found another lonesome hip hop fan who was going and asked if he wanted company. He said yes, so I had a buddy! Then Monday came, and Taylor and I went to the Americorps office to pick up paperwork to get food assistance. I went into the office wearing a tank top, sporting my 8g septum ring, showing all my tattoos. Typical Laura, right? I didn't think anything of it. So Taylor and I got our paperwork and went to the DSHS in Tacoma. Well, we sat around waiting for our names to be called, and while waiting, my boss lady called. I didn't answer since I didn't recognize the number, but I listened to the voicemail and decided I'd call after we were done at DSHS. Well, my boss lady then called Taylor's phone to get the message to me that she absolutely HAD to meet me that day. I was a little freaked out, but naturally assumed it was because of my appearance. Anyway, we stayed at DSHS to get our food stamps, but we got hungry so we left to get lunch. While gone, they called our names [of course]. So we ended up not getting food stamps that day and had to come back the following Wednesday. And by this point, I had decided not to go to Atmosphere since I wouldn't be able to catch the bus and make it to Seattle before the show started. However, my buddy said he'd drive to Tacoma from Seattle to pick me up, so I was stoked!

So we left DSHS and went to the office so I could meet Monda. I was super nervous since I had never met Monda in person. Well, I had reason to be nervous. She wanted to meet me because two of the office ladies had been dismayed [to say the least] about my appearance when I came to the office. They had found it disrespectful and were surprised I'd come to the office like that. So I got a nice lecture about professionalism and all this other stuff. I was none too pleased, but I understood where they were coming from [to a point]. Anyway, that kinda put a damper on my mood. But I was going to see Atmosphere [and PROF!] so I was staying positive. The show was amazing. Will [my buddy] and I got to meet Evidence and Slug before the show, and we got to meet Prof, Evidence and Blueprint after. It was sooo amazing meeting Prof. Srsly. I'm in love with him. I'd let him have my babies any day. Then a bunch of awkwardness ensued after that. I have a problem with meeting new people off the interwebz. So I had planned to meet this guy after the show on Capitol Hill, and that turned out to be a terrible idea and it was supes awkward. He kept trying to, like, feel me up kinda so eventually, I had to send out an SOS to another guy I had been talking to [Jonathan] and he came to rescue me. Thankfully. It was super weird and a crazy night.

On Wednesday, Taylor and I went back to DSHS and I got food stamps so we went grocery shopping at Trader Joe's, which was awesome since I had pretty much been living on generic Captain Crunch. Jonathan and I also went to this vegan restaurant that was okay. He came over Friday and made dinner too. It was delicious. From then until today, I haven't been doing much. I met another random dude off the internet that also turned out to be crazy awkward and did some messed up stuff that caused drama with John and I and that's about it. And I've been stressing a little about this program. Since my meeting with Monda, I had been thinking, like, what if this was a huge mistake? What if this program is totally wrong for me and I hate it and I'm miserable? I was super anxious about going to training, even though I had previously been super excited about it. It was kinda dreadful.

Then I went into training today. And it was AMAZING! Everyone was super warm and friendly and awesome. It was a little overwhelming, but I think that's always to be expected on the first day of anything new. It was really great though. I made a new friend right away, Charlene, who is a returner and I expect to be good friends with her throughout my time. And Monda told me I could wear 3/4-sleeved shirts for the rest of training [today was business casual, which is the required attire for service in the schools], so that was awesome. I have a really good feeling about this now.

In other news, I'm kinda super worried about my relationship with John. LDR never work out well for me [or at least the one time I was in one, I fucked up royally], so I'm scared. Plus, we keep bouncing back and forth on this open relationship issue, so it's causing a lotta anxiety and tension. It sucks a lot. I'm not sure what to do about it. However, assuming we stay together until June, we're planning to go on a road trip in July once I'm done serving with Harry [Australian friend!]. Let's hope that happens.

Other little details I forgot: Taylor has the most amazing family ever. We went to her house Tuesday for a quick minute and they were awesome. Her mom was trying to feed me even though she didn't quite understand my veganism and her dad acted like we knew each other. Taylor and her mom even gave me clothes they didn't want, which is awesome. Raynai and Tim [my other roommates] are sweet too! I feel like all of us are super different, but I think somehow we're gonna work well together. My house is super cool, too. It's kinda in the boonies, but it's a really nice house with a really nice view [creep my FB pictures]. And I'm hoping to be placed at an elementary school nearby, so I'd only have to walk 2.5 miles each way. Oh, and I'm trying to lose some weight. Becoming vegan helped me trim some excess fat, but I'm trying to get even slimmer. We'll see how that goes. John has given me a workout schedule but I don't know if it's a feasible one. I finally unpacked on Tuesday, too. I ordered some shelves and a wall decal, but it's pretty sweet. I'll have to take pictures once it's completely finished. And I'm hoping to blog, like, daily or at least weekly with updates about training and life in general. Maybe if I do it more regularly, I won't write little novellas every time I blog. Maybe.

Austalia in a nutshell!

This might be a long post. Sorry for that!

Anyway. So I decided to go to Australia a few weeks ago. Totally irresponsible and pretty random, but I figured "Why not?" It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I took it [even though I'm now super stressed about money].

I left on July 24 from Rochester and landed in Sydney on July 26. The flights weren't too bad. It was the first time I'd flown alone, but nothing bad happened, really. However, the airline messed up my meals, so I didn't get to eat breakfast, which kinda sucked. But whatever. I got to see John, like, right away when I landed, which was the greatest thing ever. I missed that kid so damn much. I about exploded when I saw him. It was that amazing. We got in contact with Andrew who's the guy from Couchsurfing we were staying with. After some confusion, we took the train to Museum Station and got lost. Then Andrew called and met up with us to give us the key to his apartment. Andrew went off to work while John and I walked to his apartment [where there was more confusion]. Finally, we got there, rested for a little bit, and then went to explore Sydney!

Sydney is amaaaaazing. Like, for reals, I wanna live there forever. We mostly just wandered around town, taking in as much as we could [which, in hindsight, probs wasn't a good idea. We should've invested in a bus/train/tram pass. Oh well.]. From this point on, there is no guarantee this is in orer. I'm just gonna ramble on about Sydney. There was an awesome park near Andrew's called Hyde Park. It was beautiful. Nearby there was a beautiful church, and in the park, there was a museum. A little ways away, there's a harbor. So we went there and saw boats and an IMAX and a bunch of other stuff, including a cool clock and heron fountain. We ended up seeing a movie at IMAX ["Born to Be Wild" about monkeys and elephants. It was awesome].

Uhhh, what else. Andrew mostly worked, so he couldn't show us around too much, but he took us to this swanky bar and introduced us to a friend of his. It was kinda awkward. Errybody in Sydney [and Canberra and Melbourne] dresses really nice. And John and I rocked, like, jeans, hoodies, and t-shirts. Oh well. Andrew also introduced us to a few of his other friends another night, Ian and Roberto. Ian's from Alaska and super cute. He reminded me of my friend Kent. Like, for reals. They could be twins. And Roberto is from Mexico. He was HILARIOUS. However, when we all left Andrew's to go to Newtown to some bar, he got us separated. John and I took a taxi with him while Ian and Andrew took another, so we didn't make it to Landsdowne. Instead, Roberto took us to a random bar and he and John had another drink. I should mention that by this point, John had had five beers, so he didn't really need another. I got bored, so John and I wandered over to where Andrew was. We didn't find him though [Later, we found out that he and Ian were in the upstairs of this bar.]. John and I then wandered [well, I wandered. He stumbled] around for a little bit before managing to find our way back to Andrew's. It was kinda irritating for me, but John seemed to enjoy it. 

John and I went to some museums too, like this maritime one to see boats. And to the war memorial in Hyde Park and to an art museum and a church. It was tons o' fun. We walked to the Sydney Opera House and explored the inside a little bit. We saw the bridge from there, too. We didn't cross it, though. And we had a bunch of delicious food. Australia is srsly heaven for vegans. They're so accommodating. On our last day in Sydney, we saw three protests and a wedding. It was awesome.

Also on our last day, John and I were walking to the CBD and we walked past this hotel where cops and ambulances were arriving. We didn't know what had happened, but later we found out that a woman was pushed off of her balcony by her lover. It was crazy!

After Sydney, we took a bus to Canberra, where I met Alice and Harry [yay!]. Alice made me a vegemite sandwich once we got to their house and it is the most terrible thing I've ever tasted. John loves it, but it's disgusting. Never eat it. Anyways. Canberra wasn't as exciting as Sydney, but I tried to make the best of it. We stayed with Alice and Harry, which was completely different than staying with Andrew. At Andrew's, we had a pull-out bed and pretty much our own room. At Harry and Alice's, we slept on this makeshift bed of foam mattresses in the middle of their, like, living room. And it was freeeeezing. So. John showed me around Canberra our first night in, and it was fun. There was this cool vegan restaurant. We went there for dinner one night and it was terrible. The food was great, but the service was shit. However, I felt bad because the guy, like, tripped and poured hot water all over himself and the floor. Still, service sucked. We tried going to the zoo on our own, but the buses only go there during school holidays [super dumb], but Alice took us one day and it was awesome. We went to the war museum that day too. I was sad about the zoo because the red pandas were sleeping high up in trees, but it was still amazing. I got to pet a dingo and a kangaroo.

While in Canberra, we went with Alice and Harry to Coomba [which is where Alice's parents live] for the weekend. Her dad was firing some clay, so we hung out while he did that. It wasn't as awesome as I had hoped, but it was cool. We stayed in this barn that was made into, like, a mini-house. It had a kitchen in the bottom, and the loft was a big bedroom. The first night was a little rough, but it was fun otherwise. Oh, fun fact. I got a UTI while in Sydney, so I was kinda miserable for, like, two weeks, and staying in this loft was troublesome. The bathroom was an outhouse [which wasn't a big deal, since I've used an outhouse before and this one was way nicer], but when you constantly have to pee really bad, climbing down a ladder and making your way in the dark to an outhouse is a bitch. Thankfully I didn't piss myself. Anyway. We went paintballing on Saturday for one of Alice's friend's birthdays. That was a lotta fun. I got chosen to be on the opposite team from Alice, Harry and John [which meant that I got to take each one of them out]. I shot John in the back once, Harry in the chest once and Alice in the arm and leg. Our team only lost one of the challenges. We're awesome. However, after one round, the whistle was prematurely blown, and John and Harry tried to assassinate me. Harry barely missed getting me in the head. I only got shot once at the end, and it was in the leg. Not a fan of being shot with a paintball gun. After that, we went to another of Alice's friend's, and I got to see Alice, Harry and their friends fire twirl and fire breath. It was pretty neat. Oh, and I got to see John's mad hula skillz. It was a good time. We left on Sunday, and I got to see a bilby, which is apparently really rare. It was cool.

John and I left for Melbourne at, like, midnight on Sunday. It was a pretty last minute trip, so we were busing all night with no real place to stay once we got there. We ended up going to a hostel [Oslo Hotel] and it was cool. It was suuuuuper nice having our own room and lots of privacy [plus a warm shower. Alice and Harry's shower wasn't very friendly in that respect. John and I had to get really wet, shut the water off, lather shampoo/soap/etc., turn the water back on and hope that we rinsed off before it got cold. So this was a beautiful thing. We went to the beach right away, which would've been even more awesome if it had been warm [it's winter in Australia so it was pretty chilly the whole time I was there with the exception of the few days in Sydney]. The beach was still beautiful. I loved it. We walked out on the dock later in the evening, and John was paranoid that I was gonna fall in. He's cute that way. In Melbourne, John and I got all access passes to the tram and train and bus, so that was nice. It made it a lot easier to get around, and it was a lot faster. For the most part, we just wandered around Melbourne's CBD. We went to a few museums and the casino, where John didn't win any money unfortunately. Our last night, we stayed at this really nice hotel [Atlantis]. It was great.

At this one park in Melbourne, there were a billion possums. I was scared because they were super brave and kept appearing everywhere. Like, John was trying to befriend one possum, and three more appeared behind us and two were in the trees. It freaked me out. There was also a really cool owl in one of the trees. I tried to get a picture but it was too dark. And we saw a bat. It was huuuuuuuuge. Thankfully it didn't try to attack us. One of the possums bit John's shoe. And another went into the trashcan and started wailing, which deterred me from going towards it but John was all, "It's coming from over here. Let's go look!" Crazy man. The possums were super cute though. I love 'em.

We left Melbourne on Friday night and got back to Canberra Saturday morning. The arrival back to Alice and Harry's was rough. Ellen had come down from Bega, so she was sleeping on one of the mattresses and Rod was staying for a few weeks so he was on one couch, and both of them were using John's blankets, and John's too nice to ask for his shiz back so we, like, attempted to sleep all weirdly on the couch. Well, John slept successfully but I was freeeeezing. Eventually, Rod woke up to use the bathroom or something and gave us the blanket he was sleeping on. That helped lots. John and I mostly hung out that day until we went with Alice and Harry to Cooma for an Australian adventure in the bush! We met up with their friend Nicole who showed us cool stuff. We saw this wedge-tailed eagle on the side of the road. It was huuuuuuuge and so beautiful. There were kangaroos in the woods, too. So cool. Then we continued on to this wombat-friendly forest. And that is where I almost got taken out by a wombat. There was a muddy puddle, so we were all trying to sidestep it, and as I was moving over, this wombat came running by. It was scary, and it srsly barely missed my leg. But it was awesome and so cute. We went platypi hunting next, which was a lot harder. We saw some wallabies on our journey, though, and our patience paid off. There was a platypus in the river and I got to see it twice. Soooo awesome!

John came with me to Sydney when I left the next morning at 4. It really sucked leaving him, especially since it's now gonna be ten months until I see him again. But it was really nice to have a few more hours with him. I almost missed my flight outta Sydney though. I barely made it. But it was good. I watched some movies and didn't sleep much at all. I slept more on the plane from LAX, but that was only a threeish-hour flight. I got home and got to see all my fam. It was great. However, I am now leaving in approximately eight and a half hours for eleven months and that's kinda shitty. I haven't finished packing or slept and it's 6:43 in the a.m. I don't know whether I'm jet lagged or just stressed about moving or both. Either way, it sucks.

So that's the sparknotes version on my trip to Australia. Random things: In Australia, they call fries chips, which is awesome, and they don't say "You're welcome." They say "No worries," which is awesome too. Their money is different than ours. Like, they have mostly coins, including $1 and $2 coins. Their bills are plastic, different colors and different sizes. And they drive/walk on the left side of the road/sidewalk. And they have tons of roundabouts. What else..OH! Melbourne is super cool because it has this fast food place called Lord of the Fries which is 100% vegetarian and vegan! So awesome. And there is a ton of graffiti. The cities, like, commission people to paint murals and they're srsly fantastic. Melbourne also has a bunch of brothels/strip clubs, which is relatively common in most cities, but John and I spotted them a lot in Melbourne. Oh, and everything is crazy expensive. Like, soda was, like, $4 for a bottle. Sometimes more.

I think that's mostly everything. It's really late, so I might be missing something. If so, I shall do another post later!

Until then. :)

KAPOW!

Hi there, strangers!

So I haven't updated this thing in months. I apologize for that. There's really no reason for it. I'm just lazy. And graduating from college is not going to help that in the least. Anyways.

Quick run-down of my life and go!

I'm home [briefly] for the summer. I just got back Monday from staying for a few weeks with the boyfriend. And next Sunday, after going to Soundset with the boyfriend and the bff, I'll be headed back to the FM area to see boyfriend off to Australia. Then it's Rochester til Tacoma. Nothing too exciting.

What else, what else, what else... One of my chest dermals rejected. What a bitch. So I had to tear it out today. Fun stuff.

OH! And remember that one time I talked about starting a sex blog? Well, it's in the works. I'm gonna attempt to convince John to lemme blog about our relationship [read: sex] which means that blog would probably be explicit and NSFW. I've decided that it would be an awesome job to review sex toys. Srsly, probably the best job EVAR. So I'm gonna start an amateur blog doing just that [assuming John's in. Otherwise, I might need to find others to play with? Who knows.]. And it might be a recommend-your-toy-of-choice [or one you've been wanting to try/an act/whatever] and I can be the one to try it out type thing too! I'm not sure. This is very rambly, what's-in-my-head vomit. Any suggestions?

Life, love, stress and setbacks.

So I'm talking to my mama on Facebook right now. Originally, she messaged me about my profile picture, but that turned into a discussion about hotel reservations for my graduation. That then turned into a random comment about a badge she got on this gaming website she enjoys.

My mama tells me the most random shit on a daily basis. And as much as I think, "WTF?" when I get another text message from her about some asinine thing one of the cats did, if I didn't get those pointless texts messages, my life would be a little less worthwhile.

I've been realizing lately how great my life is. Not in a "I'm better than you" sort of way, but in a "things are seriously amazing and you should be thankful and appreciative" sort of way. I'm graduating from college in a few weeks. I've made some awesome friends that I'm sure I'll take away from this place. I feel totally comfortable in my skin, and that's something I haven't felt ever in my life. The last year and a half (roughly) was full of mistakes and growth, and while I wish I could change the outcome of some of those things, in the end, everything turned out okay.

I may not be with the person I thought I'd spend my life with, but that's okay. I've gotten to know more people as a result of that and I've gotten to know myself more intimately. I've learned things about myself and the things I want that I wouldn't have if I were still with him. And while the way that situation unfolded probably wasn't the best, I learned from it and I'm a better person for it.

My life may not be going down the path I would've thought when I began this foray into academia, but I can honestly say I'm happy with where I'm headed. Volunteering is going to be a much better fit for me than trying to find a career that provides me with financial security but no happiness.

Part of me wishes I could stay at this point in my life forever, because it's honestly the happiest I've ever been in my life. But I know that there is only more greatness to come, and if I stay where I am, I'll grow dissatisfied. I'm excited to embark on new journeys but it saddens me to leave this place. I know I have about seven weeks left so I shouldn't jump the gun, but it's a bittersweet realization to know that I'm finally going out into the world to be a real, live adult.

Let's hope I can handle it.

Whoa, does time fly.

My friend Tim just told me I hadn't updated my blog in awhile, which I was aware of. However, I was not aware that it had been a month. That's crazy.

I don't really have much to update though. I'm going home in approximately four days to see the fam bam, get a tattoo and see Atmosphere in concert. Oh. And I'm doing a polar plunge this Saturday. Which is scary.

On a random tangent, I just saw an event on Facebook for this Second Hand Prom thing that Concordia is doing. And in the description, it explains that men should be getting their suits from their closets and women should be dusting off their formal dresses.

I'm not a fan of this heteronormativity. I shouldn't be surprised by it, but it is shocking to me. I know there aren't many people on this campus (if any, really) that bend gender norms. However, I don't think that means we should be promoting gender normativity.

Maybe I'm just too liberal for this campus. :/

Frustration.

Have you ever had a friendship with someone that you wanted to be so much more than it was?

I feel like I'm in that friendship right now. It's so frustrating. I want to believe that we're the best of friends, that there's nothing that either of us wouldn't do for the other. But I feel like this is very one sided.

Even when we're together in the same place, our friendship is superficial at best. We talk about mundane, trivial things. How's class? How's life on the most basic level?

And when we're apart and texting, we stick to these same topics. Or it becomes an exchange of facts. Perhaps I'm reading too much into this. I am wont to do that.

But I don't think I am. And it hurts to think that this friendship is nothing more than what it appears to be at the surface.

Life choices.

Lately, I've been thinking about my major. I'm a journalism/political science double major, for those of you who don't know. And I've been thinking that I wish I had majored in something else.

Now, don't get me wrong. Journalism is an awesome field of study. And I've learned a lot that will be applicable no matter what career field I go into and blah blah blah. But I feel like just having a degree from a liberal arts college is enough. And I've been thinking that I don't want to go into journalism anymore, really. I mean, it'd be awesome to work for the Onion, but again, I feel like having a journalism degree doesn't necessarily make me all that much more prepared for that type of job.

I don't know. I just wish I had this carefree attitude that I have now when I originally came to Concordia. At this point, I'm pretty much whatever about where life takes me. I'm not concerned about the things I was concerned with as a freshman, like paying back debt and making money and whatever else. Now, I just want to experience everything I can, no holds barred.

And it would have been awesome not to be so bogged down with making sure that I graduate in four years and doing the most that I can like double majoring with a minor and ResLife and myriad other things I chose to do in order to boost my attractiveness to potential employers. Again, I'm not saying I necessarily regret the things I did in college. I've made a lot of amazing friends and experienced a plethora of things I wouldn't have otherwise and learned more about myself than I would have if I had just stayed in lame old Rochester.

But I was so blinded and jaded when I got here and I honestly feel that there was no one telling me that it'd be okay if I didn't graduate in four years or if I didn't major in something "practical" and that I should just focus on making these the best four years of my life.

I mean, whatever. I'd probably still be feeling this way no matter what I majored in. I'm just checking out and it's only January.

Random life update!

My last semester as a college student started Monday. It's crazy to think that I'll be a graduate in less than four months. Seriously crazy.

But classes so far are good. I think I'm looking at a pretty decent last semester. I have one class MWF, two classes Tuesdays, and one Thursdays. I also have an independent study somewhere in there, but I'm not sure where yet. Hopefully I'll find out soon.

I'm still applying to various AmeriCorps agencies in hopes that I'll get to volunteer with them. I've broadened my scope too, so I'm also applying at Lutheran Volunteer Corps and Episcopal Service Corps. I have an interview on January 19 with an AmeriCorps agency, Federal Way Public Schools in Washington. I'm really hoping. I'm not too concerned about getting a "real" job before I graduate, but it'd be nice.

It was good to be home for a few weeks, too, before starting my last semester. My family is pretty awesome. My dad and I got tattoos and my mom and I got haircuts. Lots of fun stuff. My brother managed to make Christmas all about him since he's really just a 5-year-old trapped in a 31-year-old's body. It's disappointing, but Christmas was still great nonetheless.

I'm already feeling a little sleep deprived. Last night was a good night for sleeping, but Sunday and Monday nights weren't, and tonight won't be any better. I'm positive that once I get into the swing of things, I'll be able to really monopolize on the time I can sleep, so I'm not too worried. Plus, who needs sleep anyway?

One more thing. It's been a weird first three days without Jess. It's odd not seeing her in the Atrium every day multiple times. Today, I saw this girl who has the same or very similar coat to Jess and it made me miss her more. I'm also a tad worried that I may begin to sequester myself off into my room now that Jess is gone, since she was pretty much the only reason I hung out in the Atrium. I'm going to try to change that, though, because I enjoy all the people that hang out in the Atrium on a regular basis. I'll let you know how that turns out.